This is Love

This is love.

And so there are some who spend their whole lives seeking. Sometimes giving, sometimes taking. Sometimes chasing. But often, just waiting. They believe that love is a place that you get to: a destination at the end of a long road. And they can’t wait for that road to end at their destination. They are those hearts moved by the movement of hearts. Those hopeless romantics, the sucker for a love story, or any sincere expression of true devotion. For them, the search is almost a lifelong obsession of sorts. But, this tragic ‘quest’ can have its costs—and its’ gifts.

The path of expectations and the ‘falling in love with love’ is a painful one, but it can bring its own lessons. Lessons about the nature of love, this world, people, and one’s own heart, can pave this often painful path. Most of all, this path can bring its own lessons about the Creator of love.

Those who take this route will often reach the knowledge that the human love they seek was not the destination. Some form of that human love, can be a gift. It can be a means. But the moment you make it the End, you will fall. And you will live your whole life with the wrong focus. You will become willing to sacrifice the Goal for the sake of the means. You will give your life to reaching a ‘destination’ of worldly perfection that does not exist.

And the one who runs after a mirage, never gets there; but keeps running. And so too will you keep running, and be willing to lose sleep, cry, bleed, and sacrifice precious parts of yourself—at times, even your own dignity. But you’ll never reach what you’re looking for in this life, because what you seek isn’t a worldly destination. The type of perfection you seek cannot be found in the material world. It can only be found in God.

That image of human love that you seek is an illusion in the desert of life. So if that is what you seek, you’ll keep chasing. But no matter how close you get to a mirage, you never touch it. You don’t own an image. You can’t hold a creation of your own mind.

Yet, you will give your whole life, still, to reaching this ‘place’. You do this because in the fairy tale, that’s where the story ends. It ends at the finding, the joining, the wedding. It is found at the oneness of two souls. And everyone around you will make you think that your path ends there: at the place where you meet your soul mate, your other half—at the point in the path where you get married. Then and only then, they tell you, will you ever finally be complete. This, of course, is a lie because completion cannot be found in anything other than God.

But the lesson you’ve been taught since the time you were little—from every story, every song, every movie, every ad, every well-meaning auntie—is that you aren’t complete otherwise. And if—God forbid—you are one of the ‘outcasts’ who haven’t gotten married, or have been divorced, you are considered deficient or incomplete in some way.

The lesson you’re taught is that the story ends at the wedding, and then that’s when Jennah (paradise) begins. That’s when you’ll be saved and completed and everything that was once broken will be fixed. The only problem is, that’s not where the story ends. That’s where it begins. That’s where the building starts: the building of a life, the building of your character, the building of sabr, patience, perseverance, and sacrifice. The building of selflessness. The building of love.

And the building of your path back to Him.

But if the person you marry becomes your ultimate focus in life, your struggle has just begun. Now your spouse will become your greatest test. Until you remove that person from the place in your heart that only God should be, it will keep hurting. Ironically, your spouse will become the tool for this painful extraction process, until you learn that there are places in the human heart made only by—and for—God.

Among the other lessons you may learn along this path—after a long road of loss, gain, failure, success, and so many mistakes—is that there are at least 2 types of love. There will be some people you love because of what you get from them: what they give you, the way they make you feel. This is perhaps the majority of love—which is also what makes much of love so unstable. A person’s capacity to give is inconstant and changing. Your response to what you are given is also inconstant and changing. So if you’re chasing a feeling, you’ll always be chasing.  No feeling is ever constant. If love is dependent on this, it too becomes inconstant and changing. And just like everything in this world, the more you chase it, the more it will run away from you.

But, once in a while, people enter your life that you love—not for what they give you—but for what they are. The beauty you see in them is a reflection of the Creator, so you love them. Now suddenly it isn’t about what you’re getting, but rather what you can give. This is unselfish love. This second type of love is the most rare. And if it is based in, and not competing with, the love of God, it will also bring about the most joy. To love in any other way is to need, to be dependent, to have expectations—all the ingredients for misery and disappointment.

So for all those, who have spent their life seeking, know that purity of any thing is found at the Source. If it is love that you seek, seek it through God. Every other stream, not based in His love, poisons the one who drinks from it. And the drinker will continue to drink, until the poison all but kills him. He will continue to die more and more inside, until he stops and finds the pure Source of water.

Once you begin to see everything beautiful as only a reflection of God’s beauty, you will learn to love in the right way: for His sake. Everything and everyone you love with be for, through and because of Him. The foundation of such love is God. So what you hold onto will no longer be just an unstable feeling, a fleeting emotion. And what you chase will no longer be just a temporary high. What you hold, what you chase, what you love, will be God: the *only* thing stable and constant. Thereafter, everything else will be through Him. Everything you give or take or love or don’t love, will be by Him. Not by your nafs. It will be for Him. Not for your nafs.

This means you will love what He loves and not love what He does not love. And when you do love, you will give to the creation—not for what you can get in return from them. You will love and you will give, but you will be sufficed from Him. And the one who is sufficed by God, is the richest and most generous of all lovers. Your love will be by Him, for Him, and because of Him. That is the liberation of the self from servitude to any created thing. And that is freedom. That is happiness.

That is love.

 

 

 

 

 

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  • Florielyn

    Mashallah.. Sister.. Jazzakallahu Khair for your wonderful articles.. Alhamdulillah.. God uses you as a tool to realize that life in this world is temporary and that we have to strive to reach the Hereafter – Paradise – which is eternal.. Inshallah we all make it through.. Thank you for making me remember to put God first and the center of everything.. And whatever we do it should be for Allah.. God bless you sister and this nation..

  • http://www.dunyatodeen.wordpress.com Potential Hijabi

    This is absolutely beautiful sister Yasmin! It’s exactly the lessons that I have learnt that are summarized in your lovely article, SubhanAllah!
    I love you for the sake of Allah!
    May Allah bless you for every word that touches our hearts and more. Ameen.
    Jazakallahu Khair!

  • Fida Islaih

    Thanks for this beautiful post!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=697382097 Khadijah-Naveen Khan

    Jazakallah khair Sister Yasmin! I hope that I can listen to one of your lectures/speeches in person one day, iA. You are truly inspirational. Every time I read one of your reflections, I feel uplifted. There are only a few sisters who have truly inspired me. And you are one of them. May Allah reward you for what you have shared with all of us. Mashallah.

  • Foolishonce.

    Amazing! Your ability to put complicated emotions into words that make sense is amazing! Thank you!

  • adazbee

    Very beautiful masha’Allah, I think subject root of love is often neglected and I think you for this. Can you discuss how to reach the state of an unselfish love, maybe in a future article?

  • http://twitter.com/RashaElbadry Rasha Elbadry

    Such an amazing atricle Yasmine Gazaky Allah kol kher , i was just thinking about that yesterday ,i know that we should seek Allah in everything and i know that no matter how much we love anyone on earth , this should never be superior or higher than our love to Allah , but i wonder how my nafs , even after knowing , can’t find peace , can’t reach this type of balance, i mean when you love someone ,and then he leaves you and then you feel like very devastated, and the amount of love and closeness to Allah decrease , that means :the love was higher in your heart than the love of Allah ..i know it’s not right , i’m saying AlhamduAllah all the time , but i feel like it’s only my tongue saying it not my heart ..i loved your article , every word of it .. but am so sad that i know all of that and i can’t reach this high level of closeness and love to Allah

    • K.

      you just read my mind. we’re both on the same road! I wish I could LOVE God from my heart, because words are not feelings. To say I love God doesn’t imply you love Him truly & have reached Him. I still can’t get there. Got a longggg road ahead.

      • http://twitter.com/RashaElbadry Rasha Elbadry

        May Allah help us and guide our hearts to his love and to his way ….i think as along as we keep on trying , he will give us his love , the sincere one that comes truly from deep inside our hearts

    • Flo

      You need to “get to know” someone in order to love them. You need to know about their characteristics, qualities, about who they are, for you to have anything to love about them. Read Hadis Qudsi, Quran (Allah’s gift to this ummah) etc & attend seminars, lectures, listen to stories + examples that speaks of Allah’s goodness. U will come to understand the vast mercy of Allah & His beautiful love for us, in so many things all around u. U will understand plenty of wonderful ways in which Allah respond to u :) To do things purely for His sake, with utmost sincerity, fulfilling His rights over us beautifully, even in the simplest of deeds will help earn His love & brings us closer to Him. To remember Allah in happiness, so He will remember u in sadness. Whatever top/highest affection we’ve achieved in loving a creation, we direct that same level of devotion & love + “I’ll do anything for u, Do stuff that pleases u” attitude/feeling for The Creator. To acknowledge that all the love & kindness we’ve experienced in our life thus far is the love that Allah put in the hearts of our family, friends & those who surround us. And that if we feel we hardly have any, to make us turn & rely on Allah alone & no one else. Not only that, Allah loves us & He teaches us how to love Him back. Read, seek & u shall find; learn from the right resources. (: May Allah Al-Wadud (Most Loving) guide u.

      • http://twitter.com/RashaElbadry Rasha Elbadry

        Thank you for your beautiful words, and gazak Allah kher specifically for your dua’ in the end .i think it needs patience (sabr) and Mojahda (striving) ” As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our Paths. And verily, Allâh is with the Muhsinûn (good doers). (69)Surah Al-Ankaboot

    • Gorusjazz

      Dear yaw cn Get ClOse 2 ALLAH if yaw wil b thankful fOh evryfinG yaw have….

    • Newborn56

      Be patient with yourself sis, I think we all experience that type of feeling, guilty for loving someone so much that we feel pain and sadness, it feels like we are guilty of loving someone more than we should or more than our Creator (God Forbid)..Keep asking Allah to heal your pain, and set you on a path of devotion towards Him…and You will trip and fall, along the way, but coming back to Him is what makes it worth the while…read up on Alchemy of Happiness by Ghazali or just read a little about Ghazzali himself, to get started..I found alot of truths and relatedness to his experience of feeling melancholy, which ultimately brought him back to God…Wasalam :)

    • MINAZ

      MY DEAR SISTER IN ISLAM…U CAN DO IT BELIEVE ME…IT TAKES TIME AND EFFORT FOR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING…..patience is a constant struggle..a constant trying….u need to try again n again and u can do it trust me….and remember whatever Allah does is for our benefit at times which we realize much later….its not there coz it was not meant to be…one part of faith is believe in QADAR………..u r amazing…..and allah loves u thats why u came till this page this article…..may allah bless u with the best of both worlds

  • Nida Nizam

    MashAllah

  • guest

    What are the constructive, ways in which we can a) keep striving for such love b) how do we make sure we stay in this frame of mind c) have you reached this place…?? How do u know ???

    • desertrsose

      I too am curious for this. Masha’Allah this article was brilliant, its definitely pearls of wisdom. The words have been read and soaked in, but now I want to APPLY this and put it into action. Please help Sister Mogahed

  • Mohammed Fazle Elahi

    If I could have lost my own existence in LOVE ?????? At the end I am no more.

  • Flo

    On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may ALLAH be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of ALLAH (peace and blessings of ALLAH be upon him) said:

    “ALLAH will say on the Day of Resurrection:
    ‘Where are those who love one another through My glory? Today I shall give them shade in My shade, it being a day when there is no shade but My shade.’”
    [Bukhari (also by Muslim and Malik).]

    LOVING EACH OTHER FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH
    Sheikh Yusuf Al-Badri

    Love is among the most exalted of human feelings. When this love revolves around Almighty ALLAH and forms the basis for our interpersonal relationships, many problems can be weathered and great fruits can be harvested for both the individual and society as a whole. The Qur’an and Sunnah often speak about the noble status of those whom ALLAH graces to possess such love. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

    “Among ALLAH’s servants are people who are neither prophets nor martyrs, but whom the prophets and martyrs will deem fortunate because of their high status with ALLAH.” The Companions asked, “O Messenger of ALLAH! Inform us of who they are.” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) told them that they are people who loved each other for ALLAH’s sake, even without being related to one another or being tied to one another by the exchange of wealth. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) went on to describe their great reward on the Day of Resurrection: “By ALLAH, their faces will be luminous and they will be upon light. They will feel no fear when the people will be feeling fear, and they will feel no grief when the people will be grieving.” Then he (peace and blessings be upon him) read the verse: [Behold! Verily on the friends of ALLAH there is no fear, nor shall they grieve] (Yunus 10:62). (Abu Dawud)

    This reminds us of another famous hadith that enumerates the seven types of people who will enjoy ALLAH’s shade on a day when there is no shade but His. Among those mentioned are “two men who love each other for the sake of ALLAH, meeting for that reason, and parting with this love (still cherished by both of them)” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

    Love for ALLAH’s sake transcends the limits of our worldly existence, enduring into the life to come. ALLAH says,

    [Close friends on that Day will be foes to one another—except for the righteous.] (Az-Zukhruf 43:67)

    Loving one another for the sake of ALLAH, and brotherhood in faith, are among the most excellent acts of worship. This sublime love entails some conditions and duties that must be fulfilled so that the relationship remains pure and free of base undercurrents. Upholding these duties brings a servant nearer to ALLAH and to His pleasure and, over time, it can bring about a greater nobility of person.

    http://my.opera.com/40%20HADITH/blog/index.dml/tag/Hadith%20Qudsi%2023

    Even in love, he taught us how to go about doing it with everyone in our lives, how to show & express, to whom, for what reason. Learn from the Prophet SAW sunnah & seerah. And personally, those who seek that “fairy tale kinda love”, u have to give some to get some. Love everyone around u even those who seem hateful, it will come back to u in unexpected ways. (:

    • Flo

      He* typo Sorry :)

  • http://sippingchai.wordpress.com/ Sabirah M

    Subhanallah! Thank you so much for writing this. I have been married for 4.5 years and with all the good it has brought me…I have also never been tested or struggled as much. You are absolutely right. Until we place Allah (swt) in the center of our hearts and not our spouses…we will be running towards something we will never be able to reach. It took me 4.5 years to learn that and now I spend each moment truly loving him because of Allah (swt)…and doing every thing for him…for the reward from Allah (swt). Alhamdulillah, it is much easier to be positive and happy with everything and everyone if we just keep Allah (swt)’s love and mercy in mind.

  • mina

    truly very inspiring,it open our mind and heart to the realization of what real love is!!the love for Allah the creation is the most high,and the rest will follow!!subhanallah most of us does not realized this coz we have been taken with this worldly love affection that has no ending till you learned to realized that you love is for the sake of him…jazak allahu kahiran sis for posting..

  • mina

    what I meant is the love for Allah the creator is the most high!!sorry guys my mistake we are just human..

  • Ahmed123

    I think you really got to the heart of perhaps our most interesting emotion, and I think you drew a very interesting and important distinction between the two types of love; worldly and sublime. Great writing too :)

  • http://www.howtomakeribbonflowers.com/ Janet

    Jazakallah khair ….your students miss your halaqas =)

  • Nuraihankamarudin

    Thank you for the love sharing… May Allah bless all of us.. thank you Ustazah.. most of your articles really inspiring and kinda helps me. Alhamdu Lillah. Please keep on writing. Salam from Malaysia.. :)

  • Bakuabdu

    Loving God should be unconditional and optimal of all our love.

    However the notion of loving God more might lead to the mis understanding that who ever we love, we need to deliberately measure and reduce that love. Getting this wrong can make one seem lazy in love and as a result be perceived to be aloof, disinterested and careless of love.

    Loving God more to me means that we can  still love a special person to the “outmost” of our ability, but that person must be of Iman. (a parent, sibling, soul mate). Our love to that person is within boundaries set by god. Our love never ever gets in the way of our worship and service to god

    BAKUABDU

  • Guest

    If love doesn’t come through marriage, then what “love” do those who have already gotten married have?

    • guest1

      @host: Apt, clear and very well written. Keep reflecting and writing, without wrong stepping from the righteous path. May your deeds get accepted and rewarded, May Almighty keep your Imaan firm. May Allaahu Azzawajal guide you, me and rest of us even more… Ameen!

      @guest:So what love did a child receive from its parent?

      The Love a creation has for creator, is better, but needs constant endeavor in submitting self in obedience to will of Allah. But Alas, it does not come easy.. Hope it sets you thinking beyond the “love exists only in marriage” thought and benefits you, me , the host and rest of humanity…

  • Rahma_o

    i was never told that “that the story ends at the wedding, and then that’s when Jennah (paradise) begins”. and if people think like this they are setting themselves up for a disappointment. the love for God is always the highest, no one can compete with that. I am curious, what inspired u to write this article?

  • sarah

    Masha Allah. This is why I’m single to this day. No one loves for the sake of Allah, and if there’s something you can’t give them (wealth, children, etc), the most pious person would not love anyone like that. Goodness and high iman, it seems, is not a good enough reason to marry some.

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  • hamdy

    All praise is due to Allah. We praise Allah, and seek His help and guidance. We turn to Him in repentance and we put all our affairs in His hands. We seek refuge in Allah from the evil of ourselves and the evil of our bad deeds. Indeed, whoever Allah guides, none can misguide, and whomever Allah allows to fall astray, there is none who can guide him. I testify that there is no diety worthy of worship except Allah, the one true God who has no partner. I also testify that Muhammad is Allah’s servant and messenger. Oh Allah, send your abundant peace and blessing upon your servant and prophet Muhammad, his family, his companions, and whoever follows his guidance until the last day. and then
    i want to correct and add somethings to that subject
    i want start that with make a point when someone talk about god he should use a verses or words from the prophet not his own logic or thoughts
    the prophet mohamed god peace upon him said ( what been loved to my self from this life the women and the perfum and the pray is the most thing my eyes like )
    http://www.ejabh.com/arabic_article_38068.html
    so even the prophet mohamed loved the women so why we should not and he still love god he never change his natural but he use it in the right way that is what all the religion want us to do to use our natural in the right way without changing anything in it because who change god creation he just following the devil
    that part when u said love that you seek is an illusion people do not seek love people feil into it so even if u seek it u will never find it , it comes to u and love is not illusion it is a nurtal feelings god create into us for example if someone who love a woman and read that he will be like what illusion so why my heart beats and why i want get married with her love is feelings god created for lot of reasons if the men do not love the women they wont go work and build houses to get married with them so that is the love betwen the men and women if u do not love people u will have no friends if u do not love ur family u will never be good for them if u never love to ur brother what u love to ur self then god wont accept u if u never love god u will never enter the paradise so if ur words miss the reality only ur words will turn into illusion like if someone said hey guys that earth u standing on is not exist it is just illusion no body would believe him and his words will turn into illusion or a joke or if he found some people who would be like think about it for sec then when they touch the ground with there hands they will realize that what he said was the illusion
    Those hopeless romantics, lets focas in this 2 words romantic been romantic means that u have a heart which can love so much and give lot of love so that is the natural of some people they are romantic they can’t change that even if they wanted because that is the type of there hearts they can be romantics for there wifes so what is wrong in that hopeless why they are hopeless if u have a love in ur heart it give u the hope and that hope make u work for it and keep going in ur way it depend on how u are going in ur way if someone love a woman and he pray and he do work save money to married her why he be hopeless only the devil who want us to lose hope in god and think that there is no way to reach what we want to reach u can seek what u want from god as long it is not sin just ask and work for it and even if u never get it here u will take reward for ur asking and for ur work in the other life and do not forget do not just ask for things in this life ask for what u want in this life and the other life too.

    And the one who runs after a mirage, never gets there; but keeps running. And so too will you keep running, and be willing to lose sleep, cry, bleed , and sacrifice precious parts of yourself

    when the most loved wife of the prophet mohamed god peace upon him died he did cry so he was runing after mrage too ? god never judge people for how they feel he just them for what they say or do or believe in so for example if u believe that god have a son god will judge u for it even without saying it been a romantic or having a nice heart as long u never go did or said something wrong like something u should not do or say to ur husband to someone stranger or lookig at them then u did no thing wrong how ever what ur feeling is so stop judging peopel for there nutral feelings cry or bleed is result for some things happenedto a person if u lost all ur family and never cry over them then u have no heart if a guy would not secrfice his life to protect his wife and his family it means he is not a man about losing sleep , the suldiar who stand for protecting us in the night while we are sleeping he lose sleep and would secrfice him self because he love us and love his country and also love god too so come on

    The type of perfection you seek cannot be found in the material world. It can only be found in God.

    people who want get married they do not seek perfection they just want to have there natural needs in the right way and be with someone who they love no sin in that as long they will use that in the right way and as long they still love god then there is no thing wrong in it , u are like hey u are hungry u will never find the food u need here in this world so do not ask me or ask people for food and go die so u can find that food in god

    Among the other lessons you may learn along this path—after a long road of loss, gain, failure, success, and so many mistakes—is that there are at least 2 types of love. There will be some people you love because of what you get from them: what they give you, the way they make you feel. This is perhaps the majority of love—which is also what makes much of love so unstable. A person’s capacity to give is inconstant and changing. Your response to what you are given is also inconstant and changing. So if you’re chasing a feeling, you’ll always be chasing. No feeling is ever constant. If love is dependent on this, it too becomes inconstant and changing. And just like everything in this world, the more you chase it, the more it will run away from you.
    But, once in a while, people enter your life that you love—not for what they give you—but for what they are. The beauty you see in them is a reflection of the Creator, so you love them. Now suddenly it isn’t about what you’re getting, but rather what you can give. This is unselfish love. This second type of love is the most rare. And if it is based in, and not competing with, the love of God, it will also bring about the most joy. To love in any other way is to need, to be dependent, to have expectations—all the ingredients for misery and disappointment.

    there is no body love some body because of what they give them but when u love someone u always give them ur feelings u would try to prove for them that love with actions so for example when a guy meet a girl and love her okay here he wont love her because she did lot of things for him or gived him money that is stupid logic no u can’t buy love but if he love her he will do lot of things for her to show her that love in actions like going to her family and ask them for getting married with her but if he is a liar he will do no thing so that first type of love is not exist and if she love him back she will accept done that first type of love is not exist it call useing people

    there is a fact u really missed in all of what u see the people life is not easy almost people have a hard life , some who it is hard for them not just to think about married nah just think to find somewhere to live or what to eat , and also that people who missed the person they love or trust in there life , no matter what u told someone who is really hungry ur words wont stop there stomach from been hurt because it is out of food only one of 2 things if u give them food or if u gived them hope by telling them how to get it or where they go to have it so they will have more patience on that hurts because they have that hope that they will find the food one day some people who is sick and the drs know they will die they do not tell them hey u are going to die no they even give them some medicine even they know it wont work but just to make them feel better in that last days they will be in and hope is the only way to feel that because if they have no hope they will become victim to the devil to there tears and never give up and never lose hope in ur life it simple means to never lose hope in god because who lose hope in god they are unbelievers one last thing i want add a word from one of the prophet friends said not all of houses build no love it means that not all the people who is married , married on love some who just like and accept each others and still it works , but to find the person ur heart feel it love them for there personality and also there looking or them both or what ever ur heart looking for but there is other fact that love as how we know about is not logical to happened if u follow the religion teaching like if u never look to guys or go talk to them how u can love any of them no way only if it is the love from the first look and the only way to work that out from the family and stuff and it wil still not going be a sin i hope that i explain things more and god know better

    • Guest

      I have read your post and I think you have completely missed the point of Yasmin’s article. Yasmin’s article does not say there is anything wrong with love or say anywhere love is wrong. Yasmin is only trying to say do not love worldly things so much that it consumes you. She is saying love moderately and love Allah SWT above all else. I personally can not find any fault in that.

  • http://twitter.com/XeniaYasmin Xenia Greek Muslimah

    Asalam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu. Masha’Allah beautiful post. Alhamdulillah. Jazaki’Allah Kheyran

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alomgir-Ali/1002166108 Alomgir Ali

    This is a well written article although there are a few issues that I have to disagree with. Firstly, the article makes it seem as though the love of a human contends with the love of Allah (swt). This is not necessarily true unless the love for a human is accompanied with awe and reverence that leads to total submission for that can only be for Allah (swt). The prophet (saw) only had (this type of) love for Allah in his heart yet he loved Aishah dearly. There was no conflict between both types of long because essentially they were two different types of love. One can be madly in love with a human as well as have their entire heart devoted to Allah (swt).

    • hamdy

      what u are saying have no thing to do with the neutral of humans or hearts man , when u love woman u want to be like want do with her something and when u love ur brother it is other way and when u love ur mother other way and when u love ur father is other way and when u love ur friends other way when u love the Muslims is other way and when u love god is other way too because when u love ur mother u will never pray for her and when u love ur brother u will never do with him like what u do with ur wife so come on that is not logical at all u doing like the one who put the food over the drink and want eat them together and it will end up someone have no teste u can love god and love people and love ur family all of that subject so easy just do not let ur love to ur wife or ur mother or to any body make u forget about god or make u forget that god is the one who last forever and god is the best and god come first and god who gift u this people so u can love them so plz guys do not miss the people mind up with that urological saying u guys talking like that any one have control on his heart to send it any where that is such wrong thing to say and if the prophet heart never effected him he must never cry because simple he know more than us that he will meet her again in the paradise and he know where she will go and he know that is the order of god so why the order of god should make him cry so come on do not give me that and explain things to push it into that way that saying is urological and people can’t work with it like how u are saying it

    • Yasmin Mogahed

      Alomgir Ali: Did you get a chance to read the whole article? For example where it says: “This is unselfish love. This second type of love is the most rare. And if it is based in, and not competing with, the love of God, it will also bring about the most joy. “

  • amalia fidyarini

    Very nice article,this is an eye opener for us ….to contemplate the real meaning of LOVE …mashaallah

  • guest

    what a perfect words,Mash’allah.:)

  • rohana

    This article on love is such an eye opener and so true, every bit of it that it took my breath away.

  • http://www.joymanifest.com/ FRZ

    MashaAllah this is beautifully written. I like it much better than the one on attachment…and refered to it in my blog as well

  • serenity

    MashaAllah beautful article…and very deep thoughts conveyed in a very simple manner..thumbs up !

  • Umm Yusuf

    Sister Yasmin, I came across this article today and it is lovely masha’Allah. The sentences ‘So for all those, who have spent their life seeking, know that purity of any thing is found at the Source. If it is love that you seek, seek it through God’ reminded me of the words which Our Lord ends an ayah with ‘….So weak are (both) the seeker and the sought.’ (Al Hajj – 22:73)

    • Anonymous

      Oh my God, Umm Yusuf! About 2.5 yrs ago, those exact words of that exact ayah changed my life!!! It helped sparked the realizations I wrote about in “Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other?” and I wrote about that exact ayah in this piece as well!: http://www.yasminmogahed.com/2010/11/13/escaping-the-worst-of-prisons/ Baraka Allahu feeki! Ameen.

  • http://www.facebook.com/anwaralayamini Anwar Alayamini

    This is such a great article! The minute i finished reading, i listened to this.. please enjoy

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh2PPtP7Nic

  • Guest

    Having read anything so amazing and true as this in a long time… simply loved the article!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gazal-Gufran-Hashmi/100000013883618 Gazal Gufran Hashmi

    Mashallaah ..beautiful article … :)

  • Nur

    wonderful writing sister.. for a long time, i’ve read and heard about loving people for the sake of Allah, but somehow it sounds too hard to be understood in a simpler way. thank you so much, you’ve made it so simply brief for me about what exactly a true love and what unselfish love are.
    “This means you will love what He loves and not love what He does not love. And when you do love, you will give to the creation—not for what you can get in return from them. You will love and you will give, but you will be sufficed from Him. And the one who is sufficed by God, is the richest and most generous of all lovers. Your love will be by Him, for Him, and because of Him. That is the liberation of the self from servitude to any created thing. And that is freedom. That is happiness. That is love.”
    jazak’Allahu khair sister, Allah bless you and your family, may jannah be with you <3 :)

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  • sammy

    of course, true love comes from the king of mankind, lord of mankind, the source of all power, the most merciful, the most compassionate, the infinite, the one, the protecting friend. All praise is to he who knows my inner thoughts, who knows that I’m an not perfect and I fall in sin on a daily basis, yet he still gives me the opportunity to ask for forgivness after. Allah, your beauty and wisdom is incomprehensible by me, please Allah forgive me, guide me, help me, I want you to become the focus in my life, to live my life as an expression of what you want it to be, fear no one and nothing except for you, in the darkest of hours, your love and light continues to be my guide.

  • Aliya4d

    love it

  • Gorusjazz

    MASHALLAH…yasmeen yaw r amaZinG laDy whO makeS Our way tOwarD ALLAH n we stay in tOuCh mOre by yawr artiCleS…it iX xaCtly true wOteva ALLAH DO fOh us is a Gift…

  • Newborn56

    This piece was beautiful, articulate, wise and a very good reminder on the essence of REAL love..May Allah bless you for speaking the truth..thank you!

  • Samrah assad

    So true …it is an amazing article ….May allah bless you sister Yasmin for spreading such knowledge …its an eye opening article ,may allah SWT help us follow this path ameen…

  • Maral

    This made me smile… :)

    It reminds me of something I read a while ago about Yousef and Zulaikha’s story…
    “Zuleikha told Joseph, “ No, Joseph, my love for you was a veil. I have long since come to love the Beloved directly. I need nothing and no one in this world any longer.” Her love for Joseph had opened her heart.”

    There’s a void within us that we constantly try to fill throughout our lives… Life is the journey to finally realize that Only He (God) can fill that void within, and no one else.

    Much Love and Thank you for sharing,

  • MJ

    This is very very true..I think about it all the time! So well written…I really understand and believe in this

  • Samreenkhussain

    Love means so many different things to different people.. Subhanallah, Sis Yasmin your words are so meaningful and so true.. This bought tears to my eyes

  • muslim

    think i can finally understand what it means to love someone for the sake of Allah swt. jazakallah khair for this wonderful piece of writing sister !

  • Abdullaalbadi

    Wow mashAllah Yasmine! This has left me speechless and even more in love with God! Keep up the good work!

  • Ayesha

    Mashallah excellent explanation

  • Syednyc3

    Mashallah, Subhanallah, Allhamdulillah and Jazakallahu khairan for this.

  • Nurmurniabdullah

    beautiful..this really gives meaning: ”This means you will love what He loves and not love what He does not love. And when you do love, you will give to the creation—not for what you can get in return from them.” subhanallah:)

  • Aisha

    My favourite article, I never get tired of reading it. Please keep writing, keep inspiring. This is what we crave for in a world so deprived of inspiration. Inspiration is the key. Jazaki Allah kheir, may God preserve all those who inspire.

  • Asma Rubb

    “But, once in a while, people enter your life that you love—not for what they give you—but for what they are. The beauty you see in them is a reflection of the Creator, so you love them”
    this is the most beautiful feeling experienced. where Allah seems to reflect in every line and dot. in the making of His creation.

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  • Helen

    Wonderful. I wish I had come across your work years ago. I am not Muslim but my husband and son are. I find great inspiration in your articles. You make it so easy to understand. I am finding life difficult at the moment, thankfully people like you are there to help. Reading your work helps me to feel calmer in my head and my heart.

    God bless you for your good work.

    Thank you

  • Azizakedir

    mashallah i really proud of you sister yasmine jezakiallah

  • Ramadan10 1430

    VERY LOVELY INSIGHTS,
    Much. Wisdom
    Thank you Ustadah Yasmin.

  • Sadaf_Ali

    :) Indeed, in His Love all forms of love can be complete :)

  • Shagufta ali

    Dear Sister
    I would like to extend my gratitude to you , for changing my life completely ,Allah bless you dear .I was going through terrible phase of my life , darkness, depression , hollowness and negativity was all over me.then i stumbled upon your articles , enlightened i am now! Alhamadulillah
    thank you and keep writing as Allah “the Great” has blessed you with this quality.

  • Anonymous

    It is truly important for us to understand how we should love our spouse, sibling, parent…The culture and the world in which we are surrounded by, teach us the opposite of what Allah expects. Jazak Allah khair for bringing out Allah’s noor on relationships.

    I heard in a khutba, that when two friends come together for the sake of Allah, and depart for the sake of Allah, they are the true friends. So it is true, Allah has to be the center of all.

  • Olive_dilla

    the best reflection of love I’ve read… the place we run too, the most gracious and joy have been shared, sometimes we forget how to find the love is, we wander to one place and to another places just looking for a peace and looking for the true love, yess we have been trapped by its, finding someone love, finding with taking risk in marriage of life then still we have no find it.. yea we go back to God who always deserves us with no one can prove it. love your craft!

  • ajiyu

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  • Hhidahabib61

    Jazakallhu Khair! :-) These is how I felt when I came back from Mecca. Seeking what LOvE is.

  • http://twitter.com/mohammadishfaq_ Mohammad

    Love it! This is so real!

  • http://twitter.com/mohammadishfaq_ Mohammad

    Love it! This is so real!

  • fatxia

    thank u so much sister yasmin , its very lovely artcle jazaka allah kayr

  • Fatma Mohamed

    subhanallah i was moved tears by this. may allah increase you in wisdom and knowledge.

  • Guest

    What ana amazing article .Love GOD and everyhting else will be great. THank you for all you articles..Jazaki alahu khayran

  • Lyly SkyOtm

    What ana amazing article .Love GOD and everyhting else will be great. THank you for all you articles..Jazaki alahu khayran ^^

  • Sabrina

    What are your thoughts on maintaining purity during peak sexual interest and before marriage even in lieu of the fact that many educated women may not have found a spouse they want to get married to until later in life (sometimes in their late 20s and early 30s)?

  • http://twitter.com/YaseenRocca Yaseen Rocca

    When someone shared the link of the article with me, and I saw the name of the article, I was skeptical about the validity of the message, because I am skeptical of anything that tries to define the undefined: love. I believe that anyone may “know” love, a few people may tell others how to find it, but no one can actually “define” love. However, before being skeptical, I should have remembered that Yasmin Mogahed is probably not going to fall into the trap of defining love, because her writings redirect good things back to God. From my perspective, if you trace anything good or beautiful back to the One Source, then you cannot go wrong, even if you’re partially trying to define love or tell someone how to find it; as long as we keep God in our hearts and minds, we cannot go wrong, and the very definitions submit, not to us, but to the Lord of the heavens and earth. Well done, sister.

    And one remark: about expressions like “what you love, will be God: the *only* thing stable and constant”, I’ve sometimes tried to find a better way of putting phrases like that; what do you think of “entity” instead of “thing” in that statement? I think I like it, and like its Arabic counterpart too. =)

  • stare

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  • kiLuL76

    The nafs is very wicked creature, it does not know its creator.. untill you subdued it by taking off the pleasure out of it.. then.. InsyaAllah.. it will surrender to you.. and surrender to the Almighty.. its easy for Him.. but a difficult task for us, so we are in constant need of Allah.. thats why He is THE MOST MERCIFUL.. because, He makes you turns toward Him.. what more sign do we need..
    Wallahu alam..

  • MINAZ

    Masha allah………………………sister yasmin.. asakwrwb…u have written such a beautiful and eye opening article…….love u for allah….may allah bless you with the best of both worlds..with deeds worthy of jannatul firdous…. more piety more taqwa and more wisdom and more understanding to keep writing like this..whihc will help the ummah…IN SHA ALLAH <3<3<3<3<3

  • Samira

    Beautifully written.

  • Heba

    Your words brought tears to my eyes. MashAllah how could you explain every single feeling and heartache in such details and turn them into heart-touching words?! May Allah keep inspiring you inshAllah :)

  • abdul wadood

    Its the last night of Ramadan, I had been searching God, I had questions and i was a seeker and today i stumbled upon this blog! it feels like God showing me a way. Every word here touched my heart, it was like my own story! Subhan Allah how Allah takes us to places to answer our most silent of prayers.

More in Before Marriage, Family, Featured, Gender Relations, Marriage & Family, Men, Personal Development, Reflections, Relationships, Spiritual Purification, Spirituality, Spouse, With the Divine, Women (6 of 6 articles)