On Filling the Inner Hole and Coming Home

walk-along-a-snowy-path

We’re Home.

And then we aren’t. Torn away from our origin, we came across time and space to another world. A lesser world. But in that separation, something painful happened. We were no longer with God in the physical space. We could no longer see Him with our physical eyes, or speak to Him with our physical voice. Unlike our father Adam (`alayhi as-salam – peace be upon him), we could no longer feel that same peace.

So we came down. We were torn from Him. And in the pain of that separation, we bled. For the first time, we bled. And that tearing apart from our Creator left a gash. A deep wound that we are all born with. And as we grew, so did the agony of that wound; it grew deeper and deeper. But as time went on, we moved further and further away from the antidote, already in our fitrah (nature): to be near Him, heart, soul and mind.

And so with each passing year, we became more and more desperate to fill that empty space. But it is in this very quest to fill the hole that we stumbled. Each of us stumbled on different things. And many of us sought to numb the emptiness. So, some of humanity stumbled on drugs or alcohol, while some looked to other sedatives. Some of us stumbled on the worship of physical pleasure, status or money. Some of us lost ourselves in our careers.

And then, some of us stumbled on people.  Some of us lost ourselves there.

But, what if every single stumble, every challenge, every experience in our life was only intended for one purpose: to bring us back to our origin? What if every win, every loss, every beauty, every fall, every cruelty, and every smile was only intended to unveil another barrier between us and God? Between us and where we began, and where we are desperately seeking to return?

What if everything was only about seeing Him?

We must know that all that we experience in life has a purpose. And it is we who choose whether to realize that purpose or not. Take for example, beauty. Some people don’t even recognize beauty when it’s right in front of them. They can walk through a sunset or a brilliant forest of orange trees, and not even notice.

Other people see beauty and do appreciate it. They will stop and take it in. They may even feel overwhelmed by it. But it ends there. That person is like the one who appreciates art, but never inquires about the artist. The artwork itself was intended to communicate a message from the artist; but if the art lover loses himself in the painting—but never sees the message, that artwork hasn’t fulfilled its true purpose.

The purpose of the glorious sun, first fallen snow, crescent moons and breathtaking oceans is not just to decorate this lonely planet. The purpose is far deeper than that. The purpose is as Allah told us in the Qur’an:

“Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding.”

“(Those) who remember Allah while standing or sitting or [lying] on their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens and the earth, [saying], “Our Lord, You have not created all of this without a purpose. Exalted is You [above such a thing]; then protect us from the punishment of the Fire.” (3:190-191)

All this beauty was created as a sign—but one that can only be understood by a select group: those who reflect (think, understand, use their intellect) and remember God in every human condition (standing, sitting, lying down).

So, even the sunset must be looked through. Even there, we cannot lose ourselves. We must look beyond even that majestic beauty and color, to see the Beauty behind it. For the beauty behind it is the True beauty, the Source of all beauty. All that we see is only a reflection.

We must study the stars, the trees, the snow-capped mountains in order to read the message behind them. Because if we do not, we are like the one who finds a message inside a beautifully decorated bottle, yet becomes so enamored by the bottle, that he never even opens the message.

But what is that message, stuck inside the intensity of stars? There is a sign— but a sign of what? These signs are a pointer to Him, to His greatness, His majesty, His beauty. A pointer to His might and His power.  Study, reflect, absorb the beauty and majesty of what’s created—but don’t stop there. Don’t lose yourself in beauty. Look beyond it and consider that if the creation is that majestic, that great, that beautiful, how majestic and great and beautiful must be the Creator.

Finally realize, experientially, that: رَبَّنَا مَا خَلَقْتَ هَٰذَا بَاطِلًا سُبْحَانَكَ – “My Lord, You have not created all of this without a purpose. Exalted is You.” (Qur’an, 3:191)

Purpose. Everything has one. Nothing in the heavens or the earth or inside of me or inside of you is created without a purpose. No event in your life, no sadness, no delight, no pain, no pleasure… no loss, was created without a purpose.  So just as we must read the ‘message inside the bottle’ of the sun and the moon and the sky, so too must we examine the messages in our own life experiences.

We are always looking for signs. We are always asking for God to ‘speak’ to us. But those signs are all around us. They are in everything. God is always ‘speaking’. The question is whether we are listening.

Allah says:

“Those who do not know say, ‘Why does Allah not speak to us or there come to us a sign?’ Thus spoke those before them like their words. Their hearts resemble each other. We have shown clearly the signs to a people who are certain [in faith].” ( Qur’an, 2:118)

If we can look beyond and through everything that happens to us, everything we do—or fail to do—and see Allah, then we will have gotten the purpose. When something happens that you love, be careful not to miss the point. Remember that nothing happens without a reason. Seek it out. Look for the purpose Allah created in what He has given to you. What aspect of His Essence is He showing you through it? What does He want from you?

Similarly, when something happens that you dislike, or that hurts you, be careful not to get lost in the illusion created by pain. Look through it. Find the message in the bottle. Find the purpose. And let it lead you to glimpse just a little more of Him.

If it’s a slip or even a fall in your deen (religion), don’t let shaytan (satan) deceive you. Let the slip make you witness His mercy in a more experiential and deep way. And then seek that mercy to save you from your sins and your own transgression against yourself.

If it’s an unsolvable problem, don’t despair. Witness a glimpse of Al-Fataah, the One who opens for His slaves any closed matter. And if it is a storm, don’t let yourself drown. Let it bring you to witness how only He can save His servant from a storm, when there is no one else around.

And remember that after all of creation is destroyed and not a single being exists but Him, God will ask:    لِّمَنِ الْمُلْكُ الْيَوْمَ – “To whom is the dominion today?” (Qur’an, 40:16)

Allah says:

“The Day they come forth nothing concerning them will be concealed from Allah. To whom belongs [all] sovereignty this Day? To Allah, the One, the Irresistible!”  (Qur’an, 40:16)

To whom is the sovereignty today? Try to witness even a piece of that in this life. To whom is the dominion today? Who else has the power to save you? Who else can cure you? Who else can mend your heart? Who else can provide for you? Who else can you run to? Who else? To whom is the dominion today?  Li man al mulk al yawm?

Lil wahid al qahaar. To the One, the Irresistible. To run to anything else is to resist the irresistible. To seek other than The One (al Wahid), is to become scattered, but never filled. How can we find unity, completion of heart or soul or mind in anything other than Him?

So, on this path back to where we began, who else can we run to? What else can we seek? After all, we all want the very same thing: To be whole, to be happy, to again say:

We’re Home.

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33 Comments

  • Sister Fadumo

    SubhanaAllah! Just what I needed after a tough week in my life. Jazakallahu Khair for writing this piece and reminding me of my struggles purpose. I thank you from the bottom of my Sister Yasmin……

  • Nazeilazahidin

    I really like that part when you say..not to get lost in the illusion created by pain..to look at the message in the bottle which will then lead us to Him..true..true..very true indeed..you could really speak our minds Sister Yasmin..jazakumullah!

  • Aisha

    Well written and presented .. May Allah bless you

  • Anika Shams

    Subhanallah…very beautiful sister. May Allah bless you.

  • alhamdulillah,Allah makes me found u.tht’s why im reading this today.subhanallah.
    may Allah bless u.keep us in ur duas.

  • Ruqayamanzoorkanna

    subhanallah!!!!very beautiful!!!

  • Subhanallah. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

  • Mahaezz

    Breathtaking. May Allah reward you Yasmin.

  • Cristel

    Asalam alaykum sister Yasmin…I “discovered” you through the webinar yesterday: “duas of superstars”. I have read some of your articles and listened to your lectures and subhanAllah i love the way you bring the message so deep and very moving…. I find you such an inspiration, keep it up inshAllah and may Allah bless you! <3

  • Mohammed Fazle Elahi

    Sorry I am so poor in my description, may be I cannot express my feeling even 1%.
    So please relate in your mind and don’t blame me.

    Our Beloved Allah has created everything, you can see around you and you cannot see, with a definite purpose. One of the purpose is to confirm (Zahir) his presence in everywhere and every way to attract everything that search the creator behind the creation. One of his most important target is men and the best of his creation. He made this world so beautiful, not only in beauty but also in every respect that men should think his existence and explore the detail creation out of inquisitiveness and finds the creator at last. So the creator’s presence is mystic. He does not wants to open everything to men,
    In order to test who are the people who cares his existence and become knowledgeable and submits them at the same time the other group who does not care al all of these.

    So his presence is everywhere such an extent that,” you need to open your eyes”, “you need open your ear” You can understand something in your heart to contemplate those inputs. So look at the grass, trees, flowers, birds, butterfly, to anything you name, there is something special you will find in view, in essence, in color, in many things. If you think deep and deep you may get a picture, that it is not the nature which is so creative but the real artist, the real scientist, the real painter, the real player, the real power behind everything.

    Like the whirling sand in the desert. You can see only sand is whirling, but you cannot see the air which is driving. You can imagine that surely there is driving force behind it, though it is not visible. It is like this everywhere same phenomena.

    You can not complete HIS WORDS if you want to write, if you take seven seas as INK and write and write still you can not complete his words, Allah said himself. So everything has been in display only waiting for the real men to recognize and Goes to prostration (SUZUD) ” Ya Allah you are everywhere, you are in everything”, only deemed by your majesty.

    May Allah guide us in recognizing you and to explore you to be servant of your liking.

  • Asmaa

    Beautiful and poignant. Thank you :)

  • Masha’Allah this is such a beautiful piece may Allah swt continue to reward you my dear Sister with every form of barakah and for all the lives you touch and inspire with your brilliant work, may Allah swt continue to guide you and grant you Jannat ul Firdaus aameen. This article is so strange exactly what I have felt and experience myself and was discussing with a friend and here I get to read it as if my own thoughts are being reflected Subhan’Allah.

  • Sarah

    Salam Alaykum wa rahamutallah sister, I have to thankyou for all your beautiful writing and I know you might be sad alot but MAy Allah reward you and make everything easy for you, I know many have told you but your words bring so much comfort and feeling that I’m not alone (or crazy) may He grant you Jannah Al Firdaws! InshAllah you will see His face xxxxxxxxxx

  • mohbika

    May Allah the most witness bless ur life and ur hareafter with happiness and tranquility thnx sister for these great words.

  • zahra

    beutiful is all I can say..so liberating, once you understand the purpose behind every disspointments weakneses pain, grief, heartache, happiness etc. thank you.sister have you ever thought about putting all your writing to one book?..I would love to add this to my collection of books if you do decide I would be first to buy.

  • Siskandar

    Mashallah u have to come down to Sydney australia and give a talk inshallah !!!!

  • Noush

    Beautiful! Masha’Allah

  • Farahnaz Zahidi

    May Allah swt bless you Yasmin.
    In dark moments, through others, Allah shows us light….brings us from Zulumaat back to Noor.
    “If it’s a slip or even a fall in your deen (religion), don’t let shaytan (satan) deceive you. Let the slip make you witness His mercy in a more experiential and deep way. And then seek that mercy to save you from your sins and your own transgression against yourself.”
    Subhanallah. yes.

  • Nabil

    proud of have such a sister Yasmine Mougahed

  • Nabil

    proud of having such a sister ‘Yasmine Mougahed’

  • Haja

    Mashallah sster Yasmin as you are name just like my daughter.your articles are so beautiful.May Allah grant you more wisdom.Ameen.

  • it was absolutely beauitiful MASHA ALLAH.. i wnat to be home !

  • Aamnakhokhar

    I sat up till 6am scolding myself for being so desperate to fill the gap and never succeeding. I was trying to work out why there is such a hole. Then your article came as if a gift from Allah swt. Thank you. It would be fair to say that you changes my life in this moment.

  • Flowers

    Loved this post. Thank you sister. May God reward you.

  • sajid

    I have a question sis Yasmin: i am a urdu speaking person, so bear with me, my grammer. Have you heard of Mirza ghalib. he was poet/philospher. he said just because god created him,he had to go thru trial n tribulations(fitna). if god had not created him. nothing could have mattered. he didnt have to suffer pain,hope and pleasure if he was not created. … if i was not created then nothing could have been mattered? really?. Do you have any opnion or any relevent verses of quran or hadith to answer this kind thinking .. i am not atheist. i believe in the creator.

    • Anonymous

      Being created is the greatest honor, because it allows us the opportunity to know, love and serve our Creator. Had we not existed, we would never have achieved this highest and most infinite honor.

  • R

    that left me more confused then when i started :/ i think i’llhave to read it again some other day

  • Amatullah

    Beautiful! Jazaki Allahu Khairan Yasmin!

  • Seeya

    Every time I read your articles or saying, it always brings me closer to the creator Allah (SWT); so THANK YOU! Salamalaikum.

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